To Conform Or Not, That is the Question

If you would have told me even 5 years ago that I would be blogging and podcasting I would have laughed in your face. Not because I looked down on the profession (and trust me it is a profession and whole full time job) but because I would have said nobody really cared about what I have to say.



Reality Vs. Perception

The reality of the situation is that many people like to hear what I have to say. Whether they call me on the phone, meet me in my DM's, read my blogs or listen to my podcast; people want to hear from Trese.

However, my perception due to lack of streams, comments, reviews, follows is that NO ONE cares what Trese has to say. So which is true?

Is it fair to say that they both are true?


I think there is an audience for everyone but allowing people to find you has proven to be my most difficult obstacle to overcome.


What I Have Found


In the blogging world I have personally found a few things to be true:

  1. Good content is a relative term - What I find to be good content and what others find is completely subjective. So when I reach out to professional bloggers or pay for kits for insight to success in this world, when they tell me to make good content I am still perplexed. Good is so relative. I see content that is pure trash (in my opinion) but has many views, likes, shares. (Same way we see trashy men with many hoes... I digress)

  2. You have to find your circle - There are cliques in this social world. It's the truth and not all cliques are friendly, in fact several are just mean girls. They preach being #supportivewomen but are only supportive if you are paying them. I'm just being honest. So you have to find your circle of women that you vibe with. That give you a chance when you are just getting into the game, regardless of how many followers or pretty pictures you have. My Insta-circle is BOMB! Hey, go follow MommyOnTheMove as she is my usual go to when my mood SUCKS!

  3. Comparison is the killer of your confidence - I cannot compare where I am in my blogging journey to where someone else is who has been doing this for years or has a different set of resources. By resources I mean, technology, help with the family/kids, available time, etc. The saying that we all have the same 24 hrs is a whole lie from liars. Beyonce's 24 looks way different than mine. ALL FACTS.

  4. Being stubborn gets you nowhere - Hi, my name is Latrese and I am a Taurus. I'm not big into astrology but when I tell you I am as stubborn as they get. BAABBBYYY but it sometimes gets in my way. Especially in this blogging world. I struggle with listening to people on certain things and I dig my feet in for the sake of being "ME" and not thinking about the bigger objective. I can reach more people if I can do little things to appeal to a bigger audience while still being true to myself.

  5. Don't confuse follows with quality engagement - Yes, that is important but I laugh when people have 20k followers and only 96 likes on their posts. Sis, we know you bought them followers, stop it. However, society will have you to believe that the likes are the most important thing. What I am learning from dope influences like @mattiejames, is that that is only a small portion of what creates blogging success.

  6. You MUST determine your goal - Do you only want to Instagram famous or do you want to have a brand that will last if IG goes away tomorrow. Some of your favorite bloggers will have very little to turn to if IG goes away tomorrow. Period.


High School in Your Late 30s

Bottom line, part of blogging and influencing will catapult you right back into high school questioning your looks, your personality, your intelligence especially when you SEE people bigger/smaller than you, not as aesthetically pleasing as you (in your humble yet confirmed opinion), with trash content killing the game. STOP IT RIGHT NOW! (I'm speaking to myself as well) Refer back to Comparison is the Killer of Confidence. Who cares sis?! I mean really... WHO CARES?!



Don't get sucked into the popularity contest on IG, there is enough room for us all! Find your circle that can support you and encourage you. Ask for help! If you want a few of your friends to repost for you, there is nothing wrong with asking for that. Don't listen to negative bloggers who have "made" it, people often forget from which they came. One of my favorite bloggers who not only gives you dope content for free, check out her lives; but also has some decently priced paid content help kits is Mattie James. Finally, keep it cute, keep it you and keep doing it boo!


Love & Light,

Trese, Unapologetically