Oops… we did it again!

Please stop the Britney song you are playing in your head and let me tell you my story.

When J and I married, we were in the middle of getting our restaurant, Big J’s, off the ground so it was literally “grind” time. We didn’t even make time for a honeymoon. With school starting the next week after our wedding, we continued on with life as normal. Fast forward to 2017, the best year of our marriage to date.

New Beginnings 2017…

Things were going really well for me as a healthcare IT consultant. I had limited travel and was able to work from home. Even though I sometimes worked up to 50-60 hrs. a week, grueling during upgrade seasons, at least I was able to be home with the girls. I had also just started my new business, ReLeaf Health, which was just getting off the ground. If ever there was a place where someone might feel comfortable in their life, this was my time. I felt like we had settled into married life, FINALLY! The kids were doing well, old enough to pretty much do their own thing. My career as a consultant was stable and our legacy plan was in place, time to relax a little bit… right?

The Honeymoon… Years Later

In late January 2017, J surprised me one weekend and was like “Grab your passport we are going on a quick getaway, our mini honeymoon”.

Bahamas, we have arrived


I was ELATED! This was the first time where I felt comfortable leaving the girls with family other than my own mother and really getting away and enjoying ourselves. We had traveled before, of course, but usually in the states or with family/friends. This time it was just him and I and the trip was FANTASTIC!

During one of our beach days we had a long talk about whether or not I still wanted another child. As we sat there, kid free, secure financially and living our best lives; we decided that Zee and Tori were going to be it. We were done and we were ok with it. Although I had always wanted another child, since we had the miscarriage early in our marriage and then pregnancy hadn’t happened again despite our BEST efforts; I felt it wasn’t meant to be and I accepted that. Again, Life was Good!

Spring Break

Again, 2017, I’m living my best life. I decided to head out to Portland to spend time in our store. I instantly fell in love with the city and knew that ReLeaf was going to be my focus. I would be out there at least 1 week out of the month since I could do my consulting work from anywhere. I convinced J that I wanted to open a dispensary and not limit ourselves to wholesale so we worked towards that goal. My trip out to Portland confirmed, once again, we were at a point in life where we could comfortably leave the kids with family and still do us. This was what I wanted in life. NO MORE KIDS FOR ME!

May 2017…

I visited my best friend for my niece’s graduation in Kansas City with Tori. Travelling with a child who is able to walk, doesn’t have a lot of extra “stuff” and can articulate her needs is amazing! What?!?! I am traveling when I want to, gainfully employed, skin glowing, body snatched and I am enjoying life! Yep, this is it… NO LITTLE ONES FOR ME. My trip back home to KC was interesting to say the least for some unrelated reasons I don’t care to discuss but the important thing was, spending time with my girlfriends without huge mommy guilt was amazing. NOPE, NO LITTLE ONES FOR ME.

Aruba 2017 (July)….

Aruba here we come!


YEP, still traveling, still living my best life. Aruba was freaking breathtaking! I knew we had to bring the girls back here to experience the people, the food, the culture. This trip was our yearly “adults” only trip that we take with family and friends. I ate too much, drank too much and never, NOT ONCE, called home to check on my kids. I was finally settling into this life free of mommy guilt because the girls were old enough to understand that mommy needs adult time too! Plus, they preferred hanging out with their friends and family, totally unconcerned about me and J. God, good looking out. NO MORE KIDS FOR ME! I should note at this time: I also wasn’t taking birth control but with my fibroid filled uterus and his aging sperm, no babies were in our future… I was sure of it.